https://blogs.psychcentral.com/blog/2017/08/life-as-a-registered-sex-offender-what-is-it-really-like%e2%80%a8/
Not long ago, I wrote a pair of research-based articles for Psychology Today, one discussing the different categories of sexual offending and the likelihood of recidivism, another on the way sex offenders are dealt with by the legal system. At the same time, I published a longer article on sexual offending for the Sex Offender Law Report. Taken together, these articles generated countless comments and emails – including several from therapists, offenders, and family members of offenders.
One of the more gratifying aspects of the blog-back (the blog feedback) with these articles was that offenders themselves were, in various ways, finding their stories in them. Several wrote lengthy emails sharing their personal experience and thanking me for giving them a voice. At that point, I realized that a voice by proxy is nowhere near as powerful or enlightening as the real thing. So I followed up with three of these individuals – two men and one woman – asking if they would participate in a Q&A about what it’s like to live as a registered sex offender. All three agreed.
Initially, I thought about utilizing the respondents’ answers in a narrative form, giving analysis and statistics along the way, and at some point I may do that. For now, however, I feel their answers are most meaningful exactly as I received them. That said, I have at times shortened and clarified the responses (with approval from the participants), and I combined two questions – one about being in therapy, the other about finding other forms of support – into one question. Otherwise, this material remains in its raw form, with no judgements, commentary, or analysis on my part. (If you want research-based information and commentary from me, you can find that in the articles mentioned above.) I have also chosen to refer to the respondents only by their initials: DG (male), JL (female), and ST (male). This was done to protect them and to encourage completely honest responses.
This article is split into three parts: offense and registration; family, friends, and romance; and work and recovery. Part one, with questions on the offense and the registration process, is presented below.
What was your offense? Was it for a one-time incident, or was it part of a larger pattern of sexual acting out, as with sexual addiction?
All three respondents were arrested for crimes involving a minor. DG solicited a minor for sex. JL had unlawful sex with a minor between the ages of 13 and 16 (who stated that he consented and never felt forced). ST pled no contest to electronic transmission of material harmful to a minor after getting caught in an Internet sting.
DG says, “Thankfully, I was arrested for a non-contact offense, though what I did was still classified as a felony.” JL says, “I have never been in trouble of any kind until this situation, where I simply allowed mutual feelings to control my better judgement.” ST says he was in a romance chat room with an expectation that everyone there was at least 18. “I engaged in a conversation with an individual who claimed to be in high school. She showed an interest in me, said I was cute, asked me to send an intimate image of myself, and asked to meet so we could hook up. Despite my reluctance and saying no at first, I agreed to do each of those things. Hours later, showing up to ‘her’ location, I was met by several undercover police officers.”
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